Seven Years Ago.....

WOW! It has been seven years since my first grandchild was born. That day is one I will NEVER forget. I had wanted a grandchild for so long and the day had finally arrived. I remember anxiously waiting in the hospital waiting room for her arrival. I remember going down the hall and looking through the door of April's room (which was cracked open just a bit) and seeing the nurses scramble around to clean her up after she had been delivered. I remember seeing her little legs just KICKIN' around and then I heard her cry. AHHHHH! The sound of a newborn's cry. I remember Shawn coming out and letting us know that they just welcomed a healthy new baby girl into the world and it was finally time for us to come and meet her. I remember how my heart was so full of joy when I held her for the first time.

She was finally here and I remember thinking of how wonderful it was going to be to have this little bundle of joy in our family. I still remember the sound of her cry. I still remember how she seemed to look straight through my soul when her eyes met mine. She was a wise spirit that is for sure. I remember the many, many, many pictures we took of her in her short week on this earth. I look at them on a regular basis and am so happy that we went "NUTS" with our cameras that week, because it gives me more moments of her life to reflect back on. We seriously have HUNDREDS of pictures of this little doll!

I remember the happiness that she brought into my daughter, April's life. I remember conversations April and I shared about Kaitlyn's future. About how fun it was going to be to have a little princess in our home and how fun it was going to be to play "dress ups" with her. I remember wondering if she would grow to be a wonderful dancer like her mommy or if she would be into sports like her Aunt Ashlee. I remember being EXTREMELY happy that she would be living at MY HOUSE for a while because her daddy was going off to war. I was so excited to have a little one in my home again. Ahhhh...to rock her in my arms once again would be so awesome right now!!!!

I remember how April tenderly cared for her new angel. I remember watching her dress Kaitlyn in her special white dress so that she could receive a blessing from her dad and be given a name. I remember thinking that April would be an amazing mom and that we would be a "team" in raising her for the upcoming months while her husband was away.

I remember the sheer heartache of that dreadful morning when we found her not breathing. I remember the pain in April's eyes as her child was wisked away in the helicopter. I remember that look of HELPLESSNESS! I remember the emptiness of the room she slept in. I remember the feeling of numbness that overtook my body and how everything felt so sureal. I remember how frustrating it was when I literally forgot how to DIAL 911 !!!!!! Oh what a day. So many emotions!

I remember and will NEVER forget the calm peaceful feeling I got as Stuart Johnson escorted our family up to the hospital. I remember the beautiful songs on the radio that seemed as if Kaitlyn herself was sending us a personal message that she was fine.....We are an eternal family and we will be together again one day. I remember the feeling of warmth and comfort that all would be well. I remember many, many miracles that testified to me that GOD does look after his children. He is there for us.

I remember the unbelievable amount of love and support given to our family at that time. It was UNREAL!!! I remember coming home from the funeral exhausted both physically and emotionally. We all laid down to rest and were woken to a ring on our doorbell. Standing on our porch were some of our amazing friends. As we walked outside we were surprised to find beautiful luminaries lining the streets of our entire neighborhood. On each luminary was printed "In Loving Memory of Kaitlyn" I remember walking the streets to the entrance of our neighborhood with a few friends and just soaking up the moment. I remember feeling so very loved and so very blessed to be living among so many people who cared. I remember receiving so many thoughtful gifts of love and so many prayers that were sent our way. I will ALWAYS CHERISH those kind gifts and the love I felt from them. My friends are AMAZING!
There are so many things that I remember about ONE SHORT WEEK in my life. I could go on FOREVER! Sometimes it seems like just yesterday. It is unreal how much our Heavenly Father is there to help heal our broken hearts and how an event so tragic can be a blessing in our lives. I will always remember my sweet Kaitlyn Dawn! I will always remember how she touched our lives and how she is probably watching over us even today. She is our families guardian angel. She is our little "Katy Bug" and I love her with all of my heart!

Well I think it is time to go paint the girl's fingernails pink and go visit her grave. Karah wanted to take windmills to her sister and her brother's grave. It was kind of sad today as Boo ate her breakfast she said "I hope one day my mom can have a baby that will actually stay alive! I really want to be a sister again and then Lyssi can be a big sister too!" Ahhh from the mouths of babes!

I love you Kaitlyn!